1
0
..okay so I’m actually 31, but I chose to stick to an even number.
This list is also narrowed down to the most important life lessons, by the way. If I had to sit here and list out all of the things I’ve been lucky enough to learn over my 31 years on this planet, we would be here for quite awhile.
These are the heavier life lessons I think other people might benefit from reading, perhaps to reaffirm their own experiences, or maybe this list may hit home for the younger generation.. maybe this list won’t resonate with you at all. 🤷🏼♀️
REGARDLESS, I’m by no means done, I’m still learning on a daily basis. That should probably be lesson #1, but that would be too easy.
*This list is not compiled by most powerful to least powerful. They’re all equally important.
1. Follow your fucking passion. Cliche, I’m aware. Hear me out. The things in your life that stimulate your brain, fire you up, & you can talk about for hours on end regardless of how irritated people around you become.. these things are not mistakes, accidents, or misconceptions. These things are your passion(s). You need to identify your passion(s) & find a way to make money doing it on a daily basis. Anything besides that, is settling.
2. Passions will grow & change as you age. That’s perfectly fine. I don’t think that you’re meant to choose a job straight out of high school, stick with that for the remainder of your days, & you suck if you decide that you don’t like it anymore after fifteen years of doing it. Sometimes, we don’t know if we like something until we do it. Sometimes we outgrow things. Allow yourself to experience your life as it comes, & don’t force yourself to stick to a plan that no longer suits you.
3. You should care about what people think, but only a little. You should care about what the people closest to you (your family, closest friends, significant other, your dog) think & consider their feedback when you’re considering big life changes. You absolutely should hear them out, especially if they’re going to be impacted by the changes you’re considering. But, you should not base your entire decision on their input. It’s very easy to get caught up in the noise & lose your own voice in the process. Consider them, but make decisions ultimately based on what your intuition is telling you.
4. Relationships change. You have to evaluate your relationships with everyone in your life periodically to really see if people you’re keeping closest to you, have your best interests at heart. Sometimes, even the people within our families, can be toxic to our well-being. We don’t always see this, because we make excuses for them. “that’s my sister/brother, they’d never do that to me” or “my mom/dad would never do that”. You keep yourself within a cycle of mistreatment & you diminish your self-worth the more you stay in denial. It’s difficult, & it takes awhile before you can actually admit it to yourself.. but if you find yourself constantly in a position where you’re sacrificing your peace or you just generally don’t like how you feel about who you are after being around someone.. think about it.
5. No one gives a shit about the car you’re driving. Material possessions are cool & all but they don’t speak to your status as a person. Yeah, everyone would love to make it rain on these hoes & yes, your house looks super cool in your Instagram photos, & your vacation pictures in the infinity pool look mad glamorous.. but if you’re a douchebag, you’re a douchebag. Anyone can accomplish money. It takes someone special to go further.
6. Authenticity is everything. If you’re being fake, most of us can see right through it. Be true to yourself. Don’t talk to people you can’t stand. Don’t hang out with people you don’t want to hang out with. Don’t lie to look “cool”. Don’t fake it to make it because chances are, you won’t like where you end up.
7. Honesty is always the best policy. Being straight up is the one trait that people may not always thank you for, but look at it this way.. if you always tell the truth, you won’t ever have to spend extra time & energy remembering your lies. A liar always gets caught, & that’s not because they’re stupid. It’s usually because they forget what they told you.
8. Creating timelines for your life isn’t always realistic. I’m talking about setting a goal to be married by 27, have a baby by 30.. etc. Life doesn’t happen according to our timelines. If it does, we’re most likely forcing it. Allow your life to flow naturally, and the things you want will follow. And if babies & marriage aren’t for you, that’s okay too.
9. You will 100% be influenced by the people you spend the most time with. If you’re hanging out with people who don’t have much ambition for their futures.. you will find yourself having less ambition for your own. If you’re hanging out with people who are still doing the same shit they were doing in their early 20s, you’ll be less likely to move on to what’s next for you. This isn’t to say that you need to dump all your friends. But you do need to surround yourself with people that have similar mindsets & goals, because that will push you ahead.
10. If you haven’t prioritized exercise/eating better/sleeping well, it will only get harder as you get older. And as you get older, these things become less of a “when I get to it, I’ll get to it” & more of a “fuck, how did my cholesterol get that high” & you HAVE TO do it in order to avoid a health crisis. Don’t wait until it’s too late, do it now while it’s easier. Also, schedule your yearly physical exam. You’re old enough to know better.
11. Having a significant other is nice, but it should not be your primary goal in life. You should live your life & do what you love, & allow that special person to find you. You shouldn’t be altering your entire lifestyle to fit into someone else’s schedule, changing who you are & what you believe to make someone like you, or staying with someone who sucks & doesn’t treat you like you’re important. Too often I’ve watched beautiful, intelligent women sacrifice every fiber of their being to make a relationship work with someone who just wasn’t for them. You need to always be aware of your worth, & have the courage to walk. If not, you’re going to set yourself up to learn the hard way each & every time.
12. You will absolutely know when you’ve met the right person. You’ll know too if you’re bullshitting yourself because there will be a little annoying voice deep down inside of you telling you so. Trust in yourself & your intuition. Don’t rush love when you’ve got a lot more living to do for yourself.
13. That thing you always wanted to do, the place you always wanted to travel to, thing you always wanted to learn.. do it..now. Stop making excuses or telling yourself you’ll do it next year or when you save the money. Do it now. If you haven’t still done it, it’s because you’re afraid. Best way to conquer a fear is to stop thinking about it & just do it. You’ll not only conquer something you’re afraid of, but you’ll also spend a bit of life living on the more exhilarating side of it.
14. Opening your own business & working for yourself really isn’t that scary & can be done if you put the work in. I’ve done it twice. I understand the fears that come with this.. but really, if you summarize all fears associated, it comes down to being petrified of failing. Look at it this way. If you don’t do it, you’ve already failed. And, as Jim Carrey said in the best graduation commencement speech I’ve ever heard.. “you can fail at something YOU DON’T want, so you might as well take a chance on something you love.” Trial & error are crucial life experiences. Don’t sell yourself short because you’re fearing the unknown.
15. You’re going to get a lot of shit thrown at you in life. Sometimes, it’ll almost feel like the universe is trying to completely fuck you. The more you think that you’re owed something by being a good person or life should be more fair in its dealings with you because of whatever bullshit reason you’re telling yourself.. the more depressed, terrified, & frozen in place you will be. Shit is going to happen. What will ultimately determine your success is how well you can dust yourself off & keep moving the fuck forward, THROUGH the shit. This is not to say you shouldn’t deal with things.. you need to cry, kick, & scream when it’s needed. But then you gotta be a gangsta.
